When you are standing at a crossroads, it can be incredibly hard to trust your intuition. Fear gets loud. Other people have opinions. The future starts demanding answers before you have even taken a breath.
Dr. Toni LaMotta, known as the Inner Compass Coach, has spent years helping people return to the quiet wisdom within. After living for 16 years in a convent under a vow of obedience, she learned firsthand what happens when outside rules become louder than your own inner knowing.
Her message is beautifully simple: your guidance is already there. The practice is learning to recognize which voice is fear, which voice belongs to somebody else, and which one is truly yours.
Table of Contents
Key Takeaways
- Fear is often loud and future-focused, while inner guidance is quiet, loving, and peaceful.
- A daily practice of connecting with body, heart, and head helps you trust your intuition.
- You can release shame by revisiting old beliefs with compassion and a new interpretation.
- Lasting transformation comes through consistent practice, not one moment of inspiration.
Finding Your Inner Compass After Years of Obedience
You spent 16 years in a convent under a vow of obedience. What did that experience teach you about inner guidance?
I entered the convent when I was 17, and at the time, I did not understand the full impact of that choice. Under a vow of obedience, nearly everything was decided for me: what to eat, where to live, how to dress, and how to structure my life.
When I left, even simple decisions felt difficult. Setting up an apartment was challenging because I did not know what I liked. Over time, through courses, mentors, books, and deep reflection, I realized what had been missing: I had shut down my own internal wisdom.
That is why I call myself the Inner Compass Coach. I learned that the answers we need are within us, but inner wisdom does not help much if we have stopped listening to it.
You do not need to take a formal vow of obedience to lose contact with yourself. Many of us take quieter vows to family expectations, corporate culture, perfectionism, relationships, social approval, or the belief that we must always be who others want us to be.
That is often when your voice becomes smaller. Learning to trust your intuition means allowing that voice to come back.
The Three Voices That Shape Your Decisions
How can someone tell whether guidance is coming from their soul or from fear?
The first place to look is your body. Your body often knows before your mind has constructed an explanation. If you are listening to somebody or considering a decision and feel a churn in your stomach, a headache, pressure, or deep discomfort, pay attention.
I teach a framework of three voices. Simply asking, Whose voice is this? can change everything.
- The barking dog: This is the loud, urgent, frightened voice. It says, “Watch out,” “Do not do that,” and “What if everything goes wrong?” It is fear trying to keep you safe, but it often mistakes imagined future danger for a present threat.
- Outside conditioning: This includes the voices of parents, teachers, religious leaders, friends, social media, and culture. It is the voice that says you should live according to someone else’s idea of who you are.
- The inner compass: This is the quiet, still guidance within. I understand it as the spirit of God within us. It is subtle, loving, peaceful, and never scolding.
The inner compass may ask you to make a change you do not want to make, but it will not shame you into it. It speaks with peace and love. Fear barks. Inner guidance whispers.
This distinction is essential if you want to trust your intuition without blindly following every anxious thought that passes through your mind.
Is fear always a sign that we should not move forward?
No. If a bear is chasing you, run. That is healthy fear, and your body is giving you useful, immediate information.
But most of the fear we experience is about things that are not happening right now. It is the mind racing ahead, building stories about what may happen someday. Fear often lives in the future.
My mother used to say, “We will cross that bridge when we come to it.” As a child, I did not fully understand it. Later, I saw the wisdom in those words. Come back to the present. What is actually happening right now?
When you return to this moment, many fears soften because they are no longer being fed by imagined outcomes. If overthinking has become a habit, you may also find support in this guide on how to stop overthinking and trust your intuition.
A 7-Minute Practice to Trust Your Intuition
What is a simple daily practice for reconnecting with inner guidance?
I have a seven-minute practice that I do every morning. I feed my cat first, because she will not let me sit still until she has been fed, and then I begin.
The practice brings together your body, heart, and head. When those three centers are connected, you are more grounded, more present, and more able to trust your intuition.
- Spend two minutes with your body. Feel your breath. Notice sensations without trying to change them. There are millions of sensations occurring in the body, but the mind is usually somewhere else.
- Spend two minutes with your heart. Open to appreciation and recognize what is good in your life right now. Let yourself feel connected with life.
- Spend two minutes noticing your thoughts. The mind may still chatter, and that is okay. Begin to notice the space between the thoughts. That space can bring new insight, creativity, and possibility.
- Spend one minute integrating all three centers. Notice that body, heart, and head can work together rather than compete for control.
The body is always here. It cannot be in yesterday or tomorrow. That is why embodiment is such a powerful doorway into presence.
You do not need to do the full seven minutes every time you feel stressed. During the day, pause before reacting. Ask yourself: What is happening in my body? Where is my heart? What is my head saying? This little reset can keep the barking dog from taking over.
What changes when someone begins their day this way?
You become more present. Colors may seem brighter. You listen to people differently because you are not simply reacting from anxiety or defensiveness. You begin responding from a more centered place with an open heart.
When worry pulls you into the future, come back to the simplest truth: right here, right now, all is well. Cross the bridge when you arrive at it, not before.
What Happens When You Stop Outsourcing Your Authority
What shifts when people stop looking outside themselves for every answer?
One of the first shifts is that underlying anxiety begins to ease. It may not disappear completely, but much of the tension falls away when you no longer need everyone else to validate your choices.
You also discover new possibilities and connections. I once had an online interaction with someone who seemed abrupt and uninterested. When we connected again, she told me she wanted to know me better and spend more time with me.
What changed? I had changed. The first time, I was cautious and worried about what she might ask of me. The second time, I showed up with an open heart. When our inner stance changes, our experience of other people can change too.
As you trust your intuition, life can feel richer and more meaningful. You notice what was always there: the small physical signals, the unexpected connection, the right words in a book at the right time, and the possibilities that anxiety once blocked from view.
Guidance may always be present, but presence helps you notice it.
Does transformation happen instantly?
Inspiration can happen in a moment. You can hear an idea, attend a retreat, or receive a realization that changes how you see something immediately.
Transformation is different. True transformation changes identity. You become a different person because you consistently live from a new understanding. That takes time, practice, patience, and a willingness to keep coming back to your inner compass.
The beautiful moment is when someone says, “Everybody told me I was wrong, but I knew this was what I was meant to do.” Decisions become easier when you learn to trust your intuition. Even when a choice does not unfold as expected, there is still a gift in it.
Healing Shame by Reinterpreting the Past
How can someone move forward when they feel stuck in shame, guilt, or old memories?
First, ask whose voice is speaking. Shame is often an old voice from the past, and it is frequently the barking dog warning, “You are not safe. This could happen again. You are not good enough.”
Bring the experience back into the body. Ask: Where do I feel this right now? What is this feeling trying to tell me? Then approach the memory with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment.
A journaling practice can help you revisit a painful experience and reinterpret what it means. You cannot change what happened, but you can change the meaning you have carried from it. This is consistent with the principle of neuroplasticity, which describes the brain’s capacity to adapt through experience and learning.
Can you share an example of changing the meaning of an old belief?
For much of my life, I carried a feeling of inadequacy, even though I had three master’s degrees, two doctorates, and a long career as a teacher. I had to ask myself: Where did this belief begin?
I remembered bringing home a report card as a child with nothing below a 98. My father looked at it and asked why it was not a 100. That single moment became an internal message: nothing I do will ever be good enough.
Through a process of prayer, discernment, and inner work, I revisited the memory from a different place. I imagined approaching it from my essence rather than from fear. I pictured my father feeling proud, calling the family together, and celebrating my accomplishment.
The point was not to deny history. It was to release the old interpretation that had governed my life. When the new belief becomes, “I am appreciated, accepted, and recognized,” you can revisit other memories touched by the old belief and bring that new truth into them.
If deep shame or painful memories are overwhelming, seek a qualified coach or mental health professional who can help you work through them safely.
The Power of Speaking to Yourself With Compassion
What helps silence the harsh inner critic?
Ask yourself one direct question: Would I say this to another person?
Most of us would never speak to a client, friend, child, or loved one the way we speak to ourselves. Yet we can be relentless with our own hearts.
We do not change because we are corrected. We change when we feel loved. Constant self-correction creates resistance. Compassion creates space for growth.
Picture the younger part of yourself that is hurting. Hold that little girl or little boy in your heart. Tell them, “That must have been hard for you. I am here now. I can take care of you.”
This is not weakness. It is how you create enough safety within yourself to trust your intuition instead of reacting from old fear. If you are in a season of questioning your direction, compassion can also support the process of finding your purpose.
Life Is Happening for You
What is one truth to carry on a spiritual journey?
Life is not happening to you. It is happening for you.
That does not mean every circumstance feels pleasant or easy. It means the difficult experience is not automatically punishment, proof that you have failed, or something you must fight against. There may be a gift here. There may be learning, growth, connection, or a redirection you could not yet see.
I broke my ankle some months ago and was lying on the floor in real pain. Even then, a thought came through: “I wonder what the good is here?” Later, I could see many good things that emerged from that experience.
This is a profound shift in perspective. When you meet life with the belief that the universe is for you, you open yourself to the wisdom within the moment. And that is another way to trust your intuition: not by demanding that life be easy, but by remaining open to what life is here to teach you.
What is the best next step for someone who wants more support?
I offer a free monthly workshop called The Courage to Trust Yourself. It is held on the first Friday of each month at noon Eastern Time and includes exercises designed to help you connect with your inner knowing.
Start small. Pause. Feel your body. Open your heart. Notice the chatter in your mind. Then ask, gently and honestly: whose voice is this?
Frequently Asked Questions About How to Trust Your Intuition
How do I know if it is intuition or anxiety?
Anxiety is often loud, urgent, and focused on what might go wrong in the future. Intuition is quieter and steadier. Even when it asks you to make a difficult change, it tends to come with a sense of peace rather than shame or panic.
Why is it so hard to trust your intuition?
Many people have learned to prioritize family expectations, social approval, perfectionism, or external authority over their own inner knowing. Rebuilding self-trust takes practice, presence, and compassion.
What is the fastest way to get back into the present moment?
Pause and notice your breath and physical sensations. The body is always in the present, so bringing awareness to your body can interrupt spiraling thoughts about the past or future.
Can I change the impact of a painful memory?
You cannot change what happened, but you can explore and shift the meaning you gave the experience. Compassionate reflection, journaling, and support from a qualified professional can help release old beliefs that no longer serve you.
