Are you struggling with finding a soulmate?
Looking for your soulmate can feel exhausting, especially when the world keeps pushing you toward yet another dating app.
If you’ve been swiping left and right with little to no results, it’s time to reconsider the approach the universe is nudging you toward.
Dating apps aren’t the only way, and honestly, they might not be the best way to find someone who truly resonates with your soul.
As a purpose and love coach who’s been with her Divine counterpart for over five years without any apps, I’ve learned that getting aligned with yourself is the key to finding that person who complements you on the deepest level.
Here’s how to do just that.
Table of Contents
Finding a soulmate
Finding a soulmate can feel like such a personal and sometimes overwhelming journey, but it truly starts with how you feel about yourself.
I remember a time when I was focused on external things, in the loop of chasing the next relationship.
Only to realize that the more I neglected my own needs, the further away I seemed from attracting the love I was looking for.
What’s the Key to Finding a Soulmate?
Finding a soulmate starts from within—how you care for yourself, how you show up for yourself, and how you align with who you truly are.
Here’s how to strengthen that connection and prepare for your soulmate through self-care and intentional living.
Soulmate Meaning
A soulmate is someone you feel an instant and deep connection with—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s like you just “get” each other on a level that feels effortless and almost otherworldly, like they were meant to cross your path.
If you’ve ever felt that extraordinary bond where your souls just click, you’re likely in a soulmate relationship.
Check out this article about the 50 clear soulmate signs.
How self-care reflects your self-worth
One of the first steps to finding a soulmate is focusing inward.
It’s all too easy to let yourself go when the search for someone special drags on and your confidence takes a hit.
I, for one, used to find comfort in Pringles and Swedish chocolate-covered licorice—stuff that was a quick dopamine hit but not nourishing for my soul, much less my body.
However, taking care of your physical body isn’t just about looking attractive.
It’s a reflection of how much you value yourself.
When you care for yourself, it sends a message to the universe that you are worthy of love and respect, which in turn attracts that same energy from others.
Nourishing foods and exercise
“You’re telling me that how I eat and move are related to finding a soulmate?”
Yes!
Regular exercise and a healthy diet are essential components of this self-care practice.
You don’t need to be obsessed with having the perfect body, but you should treat it like the sacred temple it is.
Start small—add more nourishing, wholesome foods to your diet and make time each week for physical activity you enjoy.
Your body will thank you, and you’ll find that self-love radiates outward.
Here are 30 spiritual food recommendations to help raise your vibrations.
Dressing with intention
And no, I’m not saying don’t wear sweats—they have their place.
But if you’re stepping out into the world—even if it’s just a quick grocery run—consider how you present yourself.
Dressing in a way that makes you feel confident and like an absolute goddess shifts your energy.
Imagine yourself walking into an impromptu meeting with your future soulmate while wearing baggy pajamas—does that feel right? Probably not.
This isn’t about vanity; it’s about feeling at your best because you never know when your soulmate could be around the corner.
When you take the time to dress in a way that uplifts you, you’re aligned with your higher self, which allows your soulmate to find you more easily.
Pamper yourself regularly
Try setting aside at least an hour or two a week for a personal pampering ritual.
I like to create a mini spa night at home—running a warm bath with essential oils, soft music, and maybe even a face mask.
Massage your body with warm oil, do your nails, put on your favorite playlist—whatever makes you feel cared for and feminine.
These small acts of self-love can add up and truly transform how you view yourself, which will show in your energy.
Aligning your energy is essential when finding a soulmate.
Balancing Your Masculine and Feminine Energy
Here’s why balancing your masculine and feminine energies is important when finding a soulmate.
1: Understanding the balance
We all possess both masculine and feminine energy.
The trick is identifying where you’re leaning too much on one over the other.
If you’re stuck working overtime in a 9-to-5, always chasing deadlines, you’re likely operating in a strong masculine energy zone.
Pressing on without rest may look productive, but it’s not a balanced way to live.
Overworking is prized in our society, but it often leaves no space for the softer, more nurturing forces we need to invite balance into our lives.
In the context of attracting your soulmate, understanding these energies is crucial.
Masculine energy acts outwardly—it’s productive, goal-driven, and action-oriented.
Feminine energy is more intuitive, inward, and present in the moment.
Together, these energies create a natural polarity that attracts partnerships, even in same-gender relationships where one partner often expresses more of one energy than the other.
2: Bringing in feminine energy
If you naturally lean into your masculine side, which many women do because of societal norms, it’s time to tap into the feminine.
Try activities like yoga or ecstatic dance to help you relax and feel more present in your body.
Spend time journaling your feelings, create art, or even just slow down for a bit to minimize the rush and pressure.
3: Strengthening masculine energy
On the flip side, if you feel like your energy is too scattered or you have trouble committing to action, it means you may need to channel more masculine energy.
This doesn’t mean hustling endlessly but instead, taking purposeful, planned action.
Set small, achievable goals to work toward.
Try doing tasks that require structure, like implementing a tight morning routine or sticking to a fitness plan.
Letting Go of What Is Not in Alignment
We all carry baggage, whether we realize it or not.
A huge step in finding a soulmate in your life is to shed what no longer serves you, much like a snake shedding its skin before it can take on a new form.
Shedding old habits and relationships
Whether it’s habits like drinking alcohol if it doesn’t serve you or hanging on to friendships that only drain your energy, now is the time to take stock of what’s no longer aligned with you.
The friends you’ve had since childhood may not be on the same frequency you’re growing into—letting them go doesn’t make you a bad person.
It actually opens up space for better connections, including finding a soulmate.
Taking a deep dive into your authentic self
Letting go isn’t easy, but peeling back these layers is necessary for growth and for finding a soulmate.
Misalignments can form from past trauma, societal pressures, or simply habits you’ve never questioned because “everyone else is doing it.”
By actively clearing these misalignments, you start showing up as your truest self, and that’s exactly the person your soulmate needs to see.
Repeat these lucky girl syndrome affirmations until they’re etched in your subconscious.
Unleashing Your Purpose
Did you know that your purpose is tied to finding a soulmate? Keep reading to learn more.
1: Discovering how purpose ties into finding your soulmate
You might not realize it, but stepping into your life’s purpose plays a pivotal role in finding a soulmate.
Your purpose aligns you with a higher frequency, enabling you to become the best version of yourself.
In this higher vibrational state, your soulmate is much more likely to appear.
So mind your vibration. Check out these 50 signs you’re suffering from vibrational energy.
2: My personal story of finding purpose
I was stuck when it came to meeting my Divine counterpart.
Two years before we met, I consulted with a psychic about finding a soulmate, asking when he would come into my life.
Her response sent me on a whole new journey—she told me that I wasn’t living my purpose yet, and until I did, finding a soulmate would be almost impossible.
For the longest time, I’d wanted to start a blog and YouTube channel, but limiting beliefs held me back.
When I finally took the leap, guess who popped up? Yep, my future partner, commenting on one of my blog posts!
You don’t need to accomplish your entire life mission or have all the answers to get started.
Just begin. As you start working toward your passion, you’ll find that things just start to fall into place.
3: Simple steps to step into your purpose
Ask yourself, what would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
What activities bring me joy and a sense of meaning?
You don’t need to solve world hunger, but just taking the first step toward your passion aligns you with your core self—your soulmate will be drawn to that energy.
Have no idea what your purpose is? Maybe this free numerology reading could help you figure it out!
Surrendering and Detaching
Surrendering and detaching are important, if not the most important factor in finding a soulmate.
1: Set your intention and let go
Now that you’ve worked on building your confidence, balancing your energies, and living your purpose, the next (and arguably hardest) step to finding a soulmate is to surrender your desire to the universe.
Set the intention that you’re ready to meet your soulmate and then trust that it’s coming.
Easier said than done, right? But here’s the thing: Desperation drives love away.
If you’re constantly checking dating apps or chasing different people, you’re operating from a place of fear or doubt.
This signals to the universe that you don’t trust the process.
2: How to set your intention
Create a vision board, write daily affirmations, or even put together a ritual that marks when you’ve decided to let the universe take over.
I love the analogy of ordering from Amazon Prime—once you’ve placed the order, you don’t keep checking whether it’s going to show up the next day. You just trust it will.
Approach love with this same mentality.
According to goal-setting expert and founder of personal growth company (Lavendaire) Aileen Xu, setting intentions direct your energy and mindset.
Finding a soulmate is less about achieving specific goals and more about living in alignment with your values and personal growth.
Practical Exercises and Tips
Now you know the theory, here are some practical tips to apply to your life in your journey to finding a soulmate.
1: Self-Care Exercise
Start with a mini-pampering ritual. For one hour, shut out the world, run a hot bath, and play soothing music.
As you let go of daily stresses, imagine yourself clearing emotional clutter to make room for your soulmate.
Do you know what’s better than having a pampering ritual?
Listening to affirmations while having your pampering ritual!
Studies show that self-affirmations can help protect your self-worth, especially when you’re dealing with stress or feeling judged.
Research supports that repeating positive affirmations can rewire your brain to create new patterns of thinking, helping you to believe in yourself more.
I can totally relate—when I started practicing affirmations during a difficult phase in my life, I felt less overwhelmed and more grounded in who I truly was.
Here are 100 affirmations for self-love and unshakeable confidence.
2: Balance your energy
If you’re stuck in masculine energy, challenge yourself to engage in a flow-state activity like painting or dancing.
Too much in the feminine? Set a clear, actionable goal for the week and focus on completing it!
Finding a soulmate requires a balance of both.
3: Letting go activity
Take out a journal and write down one habit or relationship that no longer serves you.
Plan how you will let go of it and free up energetic space for new connections.
Full moons are the best times to let go of things that no longer serve you.
Here’s a full moon ritual guide that you could try.
Finding a soulmate requires you to let go and make space for you to attract the right one.
4: Purpose practice
Each week, take one small step toward your larger life goals.
Whether it’s writing a blog post, launching a project, or just brainstorming ideas, action brings clarity and aligns you with your Divine counterpart.
Remember that finding a soulmate and finding your purpose are connected.
Here’s a 5-step guide on how to find your purpose.
FAQs
What is the best way to find your soulmate?
The best way to find your soulmate is by focusing inward—nurturing yourself and aligning with your true self. When you prioritize self-care and live a life that reflects your joy and passions, your energy attracts the right person. I found that when I stopped searching outside of myself and started taking care of my body and spirit, love came naturally.
How do I know if it’s my soulmate?
You’ll know it’s your soulmate when you feel a deep sense of ease, connection, and mutual respect that flows effortlessly. It’s not about perfection, but about being seen, accepted, and loved for who you truly are. When I met mine, there was an undeniable feeling of being “home”—it was like we just clicked.
When in doubt, check out this article about the 50 clear soulmate signs.
Why am I not finding my soulmate?
You may not be finding your soulmate because there’s inner work left to do—whether it’s healing from past hurts, letting go of old patterns, or balancing your energies. I know the frustration; I used to feel stuck until I realized I needed to focus on my own growth and happiness first. Once you shift your energy toward yourself, your soulmate will be drawn to that transformation.
For inner work guidance, I recommend reading this ultimate shadow work guide.
Conclusion
Finding a soulmate doesn’t have to involve countless hours of swiping or settling.
When you connect deeply with yourself and the life you’re meant to live, love finds its way to you naturally.
Focus on your own growth and well-being, balance your energies, and most importantly, trust the universe’s timing.
Remember, your soulmate is out there—they could be just around the corner, waiting for you to be fully ready.
I’d love to hear how you’re preparing for finding a soulmate. Let me know in the comments or connect with me on Instagram for more tips on love and life purpose.
If you think you have found yours, feel free to share your journey in the comments as well!
Keep shining!
